Learning to Be a Patient Pastor

Whenever someone shares an observation about the struggles or whatever in their congregation, I always tend to think: “Well, maybe the people in your congregation feel that way…but not the ones in mine.”

I can be sooo obnoxious like that (My sister, Leslie, if she is reading this, has just ejected milk – or water, or whatever she is drinking – out of her nose!)!

 

This past Sunday’s gospel lesson was Matthew’s version of the Beatitudes (Matt. 5.1-12). In the sermon, I spent some time talking about blessings (shameless plug…you can always listen to the sermons at stlukeselca.org). Then I tried something I had never done – I took the time to stand in the center aisle and just kind of turn from one area to another and look at people and say “You are blessed.” I just said it over and over and over. Slowly and deliberately. I don’t know how many times – but I looked people in the eye and just said those three words. And I pretty much ended the sermon that way.

I really didn’t think all that much about it – and wouldn’t have done it, if I hadn’t read one commentator (David Lose) who said that people have no idea that they are blessed…and he “challenged” preachers to do it...to tell them. I thought: “Maybe people in your congregation don’t know they are blessed…but mine know.” Then, just to prove my point, I did it.

 

My business administrator (who is an active member of the church and was in church on Sunday) came into my office on Monday and said: “We need to change the sign out front to say: You Are Blessed.” I said, “Really, Pete?” He said, “Yes, that was great.” He started to walk out of my office, turned and said, “Thank you.”

 

There is so much I take for granted…So much I assume people already “get.”

 

I think I need to back up. Not make so many assumptions.

 

My preaching professor is constantly saying (present tense…he STILL says it when we have lunch together), “People need a clear and unapologetic proclamation of God’s love (and blessing) for them…NO MATTER WHAT!” I smile and nod and say, “I do that.” Apparently, I do not do it enough. I assume people already know those things…So, let’s move on.

But, here’s the thing…They don’t know them…Maybe you don’t, either.

So, I’m going to work harder at telling you. And you can tell me.

 

The late Henry Nouwen, in his book Letters to Marc About Jesus, says: “The most important thing you can say about God’s love is that God loves us not because of anything we’ve done to earn that love, but because God, in total freedom, has decided to love us. At first sight, this doesn’t seem to be very inspiring; but if you reflect on it more deeply this thought can affect and influence your life greatly. We’re inclined to see our whole existence in terms of quid pro quo…I think it’s this mentality that lies behind a lot of anxiety, unrest, and agitation (italics mine). It’s as though we’re forever on the go trying to prove to each other that we deserve to be loved. The doubt we harbor within us drives us on to ever-greater activity…in order to not drown in our ever-increasing lack of self-respect. The enormous propensity to seek recognition, admiration, popularity, and renown is rooted in the fear that without all this we are worthless…If we had a firm faith in God’s unconditional love for us, it would no longer be necessary to be always on the lookout for ways and means of being admired by people; and we would need, even less, to obtain from people by force what God desires to give us freely and so abundantly.”

 

On the white board in my office I have these words (I think they are from Eugene Peterson – not sure): “Be a patient pastor.”

I need to work on that, too.

 

My problem is, I see so many people working so hard to be loved…spending so much energy trying to appear cool or whatever (more adults than kids!)…and I just want to say, “Get over it!” “You are loved, already!!!” “Stop working so hard!”

I am not patient.

I see so many other things we could be spending our energy on (for example: This coming Sunday’s Old Testament reading is from Isaiah 58. Verse 9b says – my paraphrase – “Stop pointing fingers at one another, and saying mean things, so that you feel better about yourself…There are hungry people to be fed and afflicted people to be cared for!”), it is easy for me to forget, that we need to spend energy on ourselves first.

 

I guess that is what Jesus was getting at when he said, ”As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love” (John 15:9).

I wish “abiding” looked more productive…And I wish God worked on my timetable!