My family is coming home on Sunday (or Monday...I'm not sure, yet). Many of you know that they have been gone since the end of June. This is the third summer in a row that my husband, Cliff, and our children, Lucy (8 y/o) and Henry (7 y/o) have spent at least a month at Lutheridge (the camp I talked about in my previous blog).
Cliff and I were on summer staff at the camp when we met (we were both working there for the summer of 1999. I know..."camp couple." It is kind of sweet.). He was a camper there for his growing-up years, a counselor for his young adult years, a program assistant for a couple years, and the manager of the kitchen for a few years (somewhere in there, he owned a restaurant in Charleston, and cooked in a restaurant in New York City).
Now, for a month each summer, he goes back and "choreographs" the 30-minute dance that happens in the dining hall three times each day, as hundreds of campers are fed - family style. And our kids are "official" camp kids (with the name tags to prove it!).
This week is Christmas in July week. So, in addition to being the choreographer, I understand that Cliff has also taken on the role of the Abominable Snowman. I am told, that at at least one meal a day he dresses up in an Abominable Snowman costume and chases mis-fit toys through the dining hall (I cannot wait to see pictures!).
Having been blessed by his ease and willingness for all these years, it is only natural then, that any time issues of hospitality arise in scripture, I think of my husband. Those of you who know him, know that you will be hard-pressed to find anyone as naturally hospitable as him. He would host people at our home every day, if I'd let him. Me, on the other hand...Well, it takes me a while to get "psyched-up" for the event (I know that that may not be the best thing for a pastor to reveal about herself...sorry.). But not Cliff. I worry myself (ala "Martha"), until I refuse to worry anymore, and just kind of shut down. I could try to convince you that, at that point, I am assuming a "Mary" posture as I sit quietly in the corner looking aloof and contemplative - but, that would be a lie...I am just trying to get myself together and talk myself into re-engaging.
So, when I read the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), I usually come away feeling like a bit of loser (actually, I feel like a real loser) - because I do not begin to approximate Mary with her instant spirituality and boldness - taking the place of a disciple, sitting at Jesus' feet (whom I always picture with a little glow around her head, like a halo...Anybody remember how they used to use "soft light" on Cybill Shepherd in the TV show Moonlighting? I imagine Mary always looking like that!). And neither do I begin to approximate Martha. Next time we see each other, remind me to tell you the "Lucy and the Spaghettios" story. Suffice it to say, the thought of me preparing a complete meal, suitable for guests, is quite a stretch of the imagination.
So, it is a true marvel for me to watch Cliff as he moves around our kitchen getting ready for folks to come, or serving them while they are there (Martha-esque).
He listens and looks and pays attention (Mary-esque), and makes "special" things for this or that person, and pulls other things off of the plate of this or that person, because he remembers you and your story and what you like or do not like.
And as he does it, he seems filled with joy!
And, in the dining hall, he is almost giddy (making sure the serving goes smoothly, while he remembers which kid has celiac disease or who is a vegetarian, or whatever)! Now, whether or not he is actually in his Snowman costume during the meal, or if that comes while the dishes are being cleared, I'm not sure. But still...it's pretty impressive.
If I were to talk to Cliff about all of this - he would stop me and say something like "You're not a loser, Babe. I do the Dining Hall Dance. You just do a different one. We all do. (Okay..."Dining Hall Dance" is probably not a phrase he would use. That's really more a "me" phrase)...The trick," he would say, "isn't worrying about how you are going to keep all the dishes spinning at the same time. The trick (not the right word, but the best one I can find right now) is knowing what to pay attention to, focusing there, and letting the rest take care of itself" - which is really what the story of Mary and Martha is all about. Stepping into the room, or the dining hall, or whatever situation presents itself and attending to what matters most before you begin to attend to anything else. For Mary and Martha, and for you and me, what we seek to notice FIRST (before we worry about the dishes or dinner or where our Abominable Snowman costume is) is where Jesus is in each of those settings - and in every setting/person/event we encounter. Once we have our eyes fixed there, once our action flows from there//from that source//from that love, every single encounter changes...even Spaghettios begins to taste like a feast.
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